To my Bestie — Moussy

To my Bestie

If it weren’t for you,

I think I would have grown into

a much poorer person—

someone clumsy with love,

not knowing how to give it, or how to receive it.

Over the past six years,

we’ve built layer upon layer of feelings,

and in the time ahead,

I promise I’ll speak of even more love.

Whatever sadness or misfortune you’ve faced,

know that none of it was ever your fault.

So please,

don’t try too hard to find reasons within yourself.

We are the kind of people who can find romance

even in wasted time—

but let’s not waste time trying to justify the pain

you’ve endured.

I love all the years and wounds you’ve carried.

I love the old you, the current you—
every version of you.

Looking back,

from the moment I first tried on my school uniform,

misfortune has always found its way to me.

And no matter how often I face it,

I never seem to build any immunity.

So if misfortune can’t be dulled with time,

I hope this love I feel for you never dulls either.

I want to hold it with care,

always, as if it were the first time.

My love, Na-kyung,

you resemble love itself.

Thank you for coming to me,

for giving everything up

when we were only sixteen—

fragile and delicate.

Because you were there in those years,

I survived.

And honestly,

that’s still true even now.

You know that too, don’t you?

You are the person I love the most,

the soul I cherish most deeply.

Let’s spend a beautiful summer together.

Thank you for being born.

You are a blessing to me,

and a necessary part of this world.

I hope the nights soaked in hatred

don’t leave you feeling too alone.

When I’m thirty, or sixty—

the future feels like a blur.

I have no idea where or how I’ll exist.

But even so,

if I’m still here in any shape or form,

I hope my bond with you remains unbroken.

Whatever birthday,

whatever fear or sorrow we face,

I want you by my side

to celebrate and mourn each moment with.

Cynical adults say

there’s no such thing as “forever.”

And even I—

growing more jaded by the day—

sometimes find myself believing that too.

But with you,

I want to stay connected

for a very, very long time—

until the end of life itself.

You’ll feel the same way, won’t you?

To you, who saved my life

To my one and only

To my Bestie